Ah. I am back. This is a new blog because I have forgotten the login details of the old blog. It's a new blog with all the old blog posts.
I need somewhere to vent and well, this be it. The last two years haven't been kind to my dating life (or should I say that I haven't been kind to my dating life?) and well, I'm not going to go into detail about it. Not right now.
So yeah. This is it for now. I'll be back shortly.
Friday, March 26, 2010
Thursday, May 15, 2008
I disappoint men
Oh no. This is so difficult. I hate playing hard to get. Well, technically, I'm not playing hard to get. Technically, when I hug JB, I do not want him to get turned on. But he does.
And last night, when I hugged him in front of Woolworths, some of my hair got caught in his mouth. He was slightly late for our 6 o' clock meeting and I was getting worried that he might have ditched me. So when he arrived, I was so nervous, I hugged him slightly and then pulled away. But some of my hair got caught in his mouth. I walked away quickly, and said "Somehow I always get my hair stuck in people's mouths". I didn't quite hear what he said in response to that, but it was something like "I hope you don't do that to too many people".
I hate that he's such a soft-spoken guy. I hate that he's this shy, and that he doesn't kiss me and get it over with. I hate that he looks at me with his big, soft eyes, and ruffles my hair when I'm acting cute (I hate how that reminds me of Angry Lecturer). I hate that he appears to be such a nice guy. I also hate that he is fat(tish), pushing 40, renting accommodation, has very little furniture (the flat he stays in is furnished), and smokes weed/dagga/zol.
I like that he reads. I like how he dissects one of my many highly emotional rants and tells me in his thoughtful way that I'm talking rubbish. I like that he's Jewish. I like how he has two candlesticks on the dinner table. It reminds me of Ex-Lover. In a good way, though. It reminds me of our last couple of months together. Even though things were not perfect, we had our little Friday night Seder. For a month or so. And it was fun. Never mind that I read the prayer off the internet. Never mind that we were always fighting afterwards. Never mind that we no longer speak, I'll always remember some of the good we had.
Anyway. JB, I can imagine, is disappointed. In his mind, we're dating. And I'm too scared to tell him that we're not. I like his company, but I'm still pining for Angry Lecturer, though JB thinks I'm still pining for Ex-Lover. I still haven't made any mention of Angry Lecturer. I'll cry if I tell anyone about him. I'm also afraid that JB will tell me Angry Lecturer is a nebish, and that I should forget about him. Because if he does that, JB will be just one of those guys who say stuff to get you into bed. Or that's how I will see him. Even though it might not be true.
And last night, when I hugged him in front of Woolworths, some of my hair got caught in his mouth. He was slightly late for our 6 o' clock meeting and I was getting worried that he might have ditched me. So when he arrived, I was so nervous, I hugged him slightly and then pulled away. But some of my hair got caught in his mouth. I walked away quickly, and said "Somehow I always get my hair stuck in people's mouths". I didn't quite hear what he said in response to that, but it was something like "I hope you don't do that to too many people".
I hate that he's such a soft-spoken guy. I hate that he's this shy, and that he doesn't kiss me and get it over with. I hate that he looks at me with his big, soft eyes, and ruffles my hair when I'm acting cute (I hate how that reminds me of Angry Lecturer). I hate that he appears to be such a nice guy. I also hate that he is fat(tish), pushing 40, renting accommodation, has very little furniture (the flat he stays in is furnished), and smokes weed/dagga/zol.
I like that he reads. I like how he dissects one of my many highly emotional rants and tells me in his thoughtful way that I'm talking rubbish. I like that he's Jewish. I like how he has two candlesticks on the dinner table. It reminds me of Ex-Lover. In a good way, though. It reminds me of our last couple of months together. Even though things were not perfect, we had our little Friday night Seder. For a month or so. And it was fun. Never mind that I read the prayer off the internet. Never mind that we were always fighting afterwards. Never mind that we no longer speak, I'll always remember some of the good we had.
Anyway. JB, I can imagine, is disappointed. In his mind, we're dating. And I'm too scared to tell him that we're not. I like his company, but I'm still pining for Angry Lecturer, though JB thinks I'm still pining for Ex-Lover. I still haven't made any mention of Angry Lecturer. I'll cry if I tell anyone about him. I'm also afraid that JB will tell me Angry Lecturer is a nebish, and that I should forget about him. Because if he does that, JB will be just one of those guys who say stuff to get you into bed. Or that's how I will see him. Even though it might not be true.
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
I quit Facebook
Yesterday I did something that I thought might have been a mistake: I took Angry Lecturer off my Facebook profile. I panicked for a while, sent him an sms to notify of the 'change' and then panicked some more. "What if this is a mistake?", I thought. "What if he mistakes my motives?", I wondered. "Perhaps I should send him an explanatory email", I figured at last.
So I did. And received absolutely no response. Of course, what was I thinking?
But then I did something that I still admire: I quit facebook. Well, I quit my 'real' facebook profile. The Michelle Hooper profile is still up. So if you ever feel you want to add me, go ahead.
It's been less than two hours sans Facebook, and I can't say that I miss it. Sure, it'll be strange not logging into it anymore, but Facebook has only given me headaches. Especially in regards to Angry Lecturer. We had many spates because of Facebook: the pictures episode; the wall episode;and the supposedly kinky gifts episode.
So yes, I will miss it, but not today. I'm too relieved. Besides, I can always re-activate my account when I feel like it.
So I did. And received absolutely no response. Of course, what was I thinking?
But then I did something that I still admire: I quit facebook. Well, I quit my 'real' facebook profile. The Michelle Hooper profile is still up. So if you ever feel you want to add me, go ahead.
It's been less than two hours sans Facebook, and I can't say that I miss it. Sure, it'll be strange not logging into it anymore, but Facebook has only given me headaches. Especially in regards to Angry Lecturer. We had many spates because of Facebook: the pictures episode; the wall episode;and the supposedly kinky gifts episode.
So yes, I will miss it, but not today. I'm too relieved. Besides, I can always re-activate my account when I feel like it.
Monday, May 12, 2008
Life carries on
I removed Angry Lecturer from my Facebook profile. I also did something silly: I wrote him an sms and an email to explain why. I'm sure he is relieved that I can no longer view his little profile. It will probably make life so much easier for him.
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Let me introduce you
Ex-Mr Perfect called me today, asking what I'm doing. He's such a playa, this one. He nearly broke my heart circa 2006, when I thought I'm in love with him.
We met, went on a day-trip to Matjiesfontein, kissed. He then left for a holiday and when he came back, we started a shagathon that lasted a couple of months. It was divine, but I was hoping for more than what he could or would give me. I didn't want to believe he had a girlfriend. It was a similar situation to the Friends episode 'The one with the butt'. Chandler meets this unbelievably attractive woman, but on their first date, she mentions her husband. And she also mentions her boyfriend. Chandler is in lust, so he considers for a second, and then decides he'll get the best of both worlds.
I didn't see it like that. Ex-Mr Perfect took me to some nice restaurants, and lavished so much attention on me, of course I fell in love. He knew just how to make me melt.
Well, today I told him I am no longer a good time girl. He shouldn't rely on me for fantastic sex. Yes, of course I am horny, but he needs to find a new girl. Hell, it's been two years since our last 'encounter'. So he must've been rather desperate to call me. He even took me out for a chocolino.
It was fun being with him. But the attraction is gone. Two years is a long time. And he's getting older. I might consider shagging him again, but I do not think it'll be very soon. Unless he gets me a Louis.
We met, went on a day-trip to Matjiesfontein, kissed. He then left for a holiday and when he came back, we started a shagathon that lasted a couple of months. It was divine, but I was hoping for more than what he could or would give me. I didn't want to believe he had a girlfriend. It was a similar situation to the Friends episode 'The one with the butt'. Chandler meets this unbelievably attractive woman, but on their first date, she mentions her husband. And she also mentions her boyfriend. Chandler is in lust, so he considers for a second, and then decides he'll get the best of both worlds.
I didn't see it like that. Ex-Mr Perfect took me to some nice restaurants, and lavished so much attention on me, of course I fell in love. He knew just how to make me melt.
Well, today I told him I am no longer a good time girl. He shouldn't rely on me for fantastic sex. Yes, of course I am horny, but he needs to find a new girl. Hell, it's been two years since our last 'encounter'. So he must've been rather desperate to call me. He even took me out for a chocolino.
It was fun being with him. But the attraction is gone. Two years is a long time. And he's getting older. I might consider shagging him again, but I do not think it'll be very soon. Unless he gets me a Louis.
Saturday, May 10, 2008
JL
I'm missing Mr JL. He told me he's on his way to London on Thursday. Or was it yesterday? I can't remember. I was so surprised to hear from him, that I switched off my brain for an hour or so. All I could think of, was whether he is annoyed with me. I hope he isn't.
See, we haven't been spending much time together these last couple of weeks. Things have been difficult. I moved in with two girls and he is always travelling. Those are not the ideal circumstances in which to conduct an extra-marital affair. Let's just call it an affair. Extra-marital affair is such tautology.
Do I love him? Yes, what a silly question. He is probably one of the very few people who tries to understand me. Yes, I'm sure he thinks I'm a little bit crazy, but he is also my biggest fan. Or so it seems.
I never ask him about his family. Or, not much. I only ever ask after the boys. And I try to be low-fuss. He doesn't need another nagging female in his life. So I'm waiting on him to contact me again. Sometime soon.
See, we haven't been spending much time together these last couple of weeks. Things have been difficult. I moved in with two girls and he is always travelling. Those are not the ideal circumstances in which to conduct an extra-marital affair. Let's just call it an affair. Extra-marital affair is such tautology.
Do I love him? Yes, what a silly question. He is probably one of the very few people who tries to understand me. Yes, I'm sure he thinks I'm a little bit crazy, but he is also my biggest fan. Or so it seems.
I never ask him about his family. Or, not much. I only ever ask after the boys. And I try to be low-fuss. He doesn't need another nagging female in his life. So I'm waiting on him to contact me again. Sometime soon.
Who's my BFF?
I'm no longer sure if I have a best friend. I don't even have a GFF anymore. I used to think Ex-Lover is my best friend. Well, one of my best friends, because Robyn was one of the other BFFs.
We are so alike. So very alike. She's my confidante. She's one of the few people who know all about my semi-shady past. But things have been bad these last two months or so.
We no longer communicate as much as we used to. True, she is busy at work, but I miss seeing her. I've seen her once during the last two months. It also does not help that she has a new lover boy who is keeping her busy. And that she moved to a Mars beginning of last month.
My other two BFFs are flatmates. The younger one, Ms Woolllies, and I have been friends since early 2005. I only met her flatmate Leandra at the end of last year. We met up a couple of times, and Leandra and I fell in love. She's such a fun person to be around with, of course I liked her.
The three of us spent many weekends together, until recently. Something is different. I don't know what, but there has been a shift. They're uncommunicative and when I do phone to find out how things are, they're abrupt and do not sound very happy to hear from me. Invitations are left unanswered and SMSs get ignored. I'm sure I did or said something to irritate them; if only they could tell me what it is, though. That would make things easier for us.
I miss Ex-Lover. So much. I miss cooking for him (never mind that I can only make Spaghetti bolognaise); I miss fussing over him; I miss fighting with him. But, that will never happen again, so I'll have to find me a new obsession.
Angry Lecturer is online right now. I did something bad. I used his correct name in my last blog post on the old blog. I only did it because I want to know whether he is really reading my blog. And I'm hoping this will prompt him to confess. But it might not.
We are so alike. So very alike. She's my confidante. She's one of the few people who know all about my semi-shady past. But things have been bad these last two months or so.
We no longer communicate as much as we used to. True, she is busy at work, but I miss seeing her. I've seen her once during the last two months. It also does not help that she has a new lover boy who is keeping her busy. And that she moved to a Mars beginning of last month.
My other two BFFs are flatmates. The younger one, Ms Woolllies, and I have been friends since early 2005. I only met her flatmate Leandra at the end of last year. We met up a couple of times, and Leandra and I fell in love. She's such a fun person to be around with, of course I liked her.
The three of us spent many weekends together, until recently. Something is different. I don't know what, but there has been a shift. They're uncommunicative and when I do phone to find out how things are, they're abrupt and do not sound very happy to hear from me. Invitations are left unanswered and SMSs get ignored. I'm sure I did or said something to irritate them; if only they could tell me what it is, though. That would make things easier for us.
I miss Ex-Lover. So much. I miss cooking for him (never mind that I can only make Spaghetti bolognaise); I miss fussing over him; I miss fighting with him. But, that will never happen again, so I'll have to find me a new obsession.
Angry Lecturer is online right now. I did something bad. I used his correct name in my last blog post on the old blog. I only did it because I want to know whether he is really reading my blog. And I'm hoping this will prompt him to confess. But it might not.
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