The first post

Nice. I start a new blog and Google thinks I'm some sort of spambot, and blocks me access to it. Well, I can't view the blog, but at least I can post to it. As though that is all I want.

I'm starting this new blog because I sense a change in my life. There are so many changes, both financial, emotional and also in the relationships with my friends. It's not even spring yet, so I can't blame it on the seasons. But it's autumn, so that might be it. Or perhaps not.

Whatever it is, I'm hoping it's for better, and not for worse. Not that the last couple of months have been horrific; however, I want to be happy(ier) than what I have been of late. I have spent far too long moping over Angry Lecturer; I have spent far too much effort on sustaining dead-end relationships with friends who cancel plans at the very last minute; I have been content with a tiny salary for months; and I have been living in denial over my parents' needs for years.

It's time to do something about all these issues. Angry Lecturer is a sweet guy, but I think he should be avoided henceforth. I don't see how things can ever work out between us. Well, if things do work out, great. And I'll even stay in touch with him until July, just to see if there's hope. But that's how long he gets from me.

The friends issue. Well, I lost a good friend. My ex-boyfriend. His new girlfriend (with whom he cheated on me last year) does not want him to contact me at all. I spent this morning in tears. He thought I wanted him back. I suppose a very, very, very small part of me is hoping to patch things up with him, but the majority feels it's flogging a dead horse. We've tried so many times. There's no point. Besides, he has a girlfriend now.

The other friends are unreliable. They'll think nothing of cancelling plans at the last minute. Or not calling me for weeks. I want to believe I go to some lengths to keep my relationships in good order. I want to believe I am a great friend. So where are my good friends?

Another reason for this new blog is that too many of my friends read the old one. Even Mr JL. Especially Mr JL. No matter how many times I have asked him to stop, he persisted. I might still update the old site, but I think it's time for a clean break. Besides, I always worried that Angry Lecturer found the URL. It's possible.